I'm back. More later.

Well it's off to Vegas for a few days. Ah the museums, the zoos, the pencil factories (that's right, factories--there's eleven of them!), the long walks by the ocean. You get the idea. Since I won't have computer access, I'd ask you all to please refrain from saying anything interesting until I get back.

Since I won't be around to write a super deluxe good poem, I'll tell you what I was thinking about writing and maybe you kind folks could write the poem and post it on your blogs. The poem I was going to write was to have been called "My Can Opener." The message was a simple one: even though I've not always been the best can opener owner, my can opener still loves me (or at least treats me as if she loves me). I look forward to reading your poems.

If my book bag could get polluted unless there are electirc cars, then it is not the case that my book bag wouldn't get polluted if and only if there are not electric cars or electric cars are not as safe for Bugles as one might expect provided that electricity over time tends to break down corn and corn based products in which case it's a good thing that witches ride brooms and not pencils so that in the event that electric cars break down corn there will be something with which to sweep up the corn.

I was checking out this Mr. Hot's webpage. In addition to the Buffy stuff he has a book on the Sopranos and Philosophy coming out. This guy is soooo cool. He watches tv, teaches philosophy, and is a looker. No wonder they call him Mr. Hot!

Dog
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five, six, dog.
One, two, dog, dog, dog.

If pencil sharpeners were as big as cars,
Cars would fit in my book bag.

Jean, do you think the Buffy thing makes Mr. Hot even hotter?

Inching Toward A Better World
If witches were only four or five inches tall,
They could ride pencils to work.
(Alternatively, if pencils were five feet long...)

I Didn't Really Go To The Mall
In this story the mall represents crap.
The parking lot represents man's struggle to find crap.
Pointy things represent birds.
Cell phone salespersons represent the secret desire we all have to be supervisors at the post office.
Time represents insects.
Nickels repsent diet coke (with a twist of sour malt).
Representation represents "re-presentation."
Hot dogs on a stick are just plain yummy!

I'm going to Las Vegas next weekend. Here's what I'm bringing to read:
1. Great Zoos of Las Vegas.
2. Counting Calories at the Buffet.
3. Counting Cards at the Table.
4. Counting Crows--the Unauthorized Biography.
5. Intervention and Reflection: Basic Issues in Medical Ethics
6. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy

Jean, I think the buffy thing makes Mr. Hot even hotter.

I had planned on posting a super deluxe good poem this morning, but the creative juices weren't flowing. Instead I'll just refer you to the Hallmark Channel which, I believe, will be showing re-runs of Bewitched all morning. I'll try to come up with something a bit later. If I don't, then just watch The People's Court this afternoon. Both of these activities can be enhanced by eating jellybeans.

Jean writes, "Noah reveals who "Mr. Hot" is." I couldn't locate the information on Noah's blog. Can you tell me more about this "Mr. Hot?"

I wonder whether Kasey's motivation in having people rate this interesting fellow was to have people start referring to him as "Mr. Hot." It would seem that the evil machinations of one Kasey Mohammad have backfired.

It's time to put this whole stupid name thing to bed. I'm going with Chickee (unless I decide to change my name to Rex).

Cat definitely gets it, which is why Porthole Redux is, once again, the Blog of the Day. Excellent. Keep up the good work! As for the rest of you, you're going to have to dig in deeper.

I'm already starting to hate the Chico thing. This sucks: it's like I have no identity. Don't fret; I'll work it out soon enough.

Everyone notice how I just slipped that "Chico" thing in there? What do you think? If you prefer "Chico" to "Chickee" or "Chick," then send me an email or post your opinion.

Hi Everybody! Chico here. I'd like to thank Catherine for her kind words. To honor her, Porthole Redux had been named The Blog of the Day. This is truly a great honor for Catherine. Sure it's only for one day (or so it would seem), but given my propensity for procrastination or just plain not following through on things, Porthole Redux could be Blog of the Day for years to come. Who knows?
You're probably thinking how does my blog get to be Blog of the Day. Catherine paid me a nice compliment, but that probably won't be sufficient in the future. It's going to take a much greater effort. Naming a child "Chico Chickston" would be a good first step. Or perhaps you could invent a great new pencil called "the Del Chickston Streamline Writer" (or some such). I'll leave it up to you creative people to come up with more solutions.

Did you see that guy on Kasey's webpage? I'm voting: HOT HOT HOT!!!!

I suppose that it's high time that I developed a blog roll policy. I know I only have three links at this point, but as soon as I get around to it, I'll add more (there's a bunch of terrific blogs out there that need to on my roll). OK, here's the policy: new blogs will automatically start at the bottom of the the list, so if nothing significant happens, the top of the roll will remain the same. This raises the question of what constitutes significant. It's hard to pin down, but a few examples should help to crystalize the concept (even if it escapes precise explication). Suppose that a particular blog were in the seventh position (i.e., was seventh from the top) and the blogger of that blog were to win a big dance contest. I would then move that link up two spots to the fifth position. Suppose that blogger were to win a small dance contest. I would move them down one spot (since I have no respect for those trying to pad their bv (blog vitae) with easily attained awards, etc. Suppose that a blogger in 13th position were to invent a new kind of pencil that everyone couldn't live without. I would move that blog 3 spots (provided that they hadn't been moved up already for winning a dance contest). Suppose that a particular blogger started doing workshop poetry that explored their deepest feelings in an uncontrollable way causing them to cry upon writing it, but then attended a twelve-step program designed to get them to stop doing it. I would move them up one spot for getting help, but move them back down one spot for not having the good sense not to write drivel in the first place. Suppose that a blogger hit Roger Ebert in the face with a pie. I would move them up 6 spots. I think that you get the idea. Obviously there is a problem in that I have no way of tracking these things, so you all have to help me out. Email with your blog movement worthy good deeds.