Welcome to the "new" Super Deluxe Good Poems--Kent Johnson style. Please post things that Kent Johnson might say (or perhaps poems Kent Johnson might write) in the comments box.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
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15 Comments:
"Hi I'm Kent Johnson" I'm a friend of flarf, but I hate flarf. Let's explore that."
my name is Kent Johnson. I like flowers & sunglasses & poetry & comment boxes.
As Kent Johnson, I must say that I am trying to maintain my sense of humor about all this, but you can only push a fellow so far with your cleverness.
So cut it out.
Oh no! Something's wrong. I'm Kent Johnson, but I'm not wearing Kent Johnson's pants. Where are Kent Johnson's pant? Has anyone seen Kent Johnson's pants?
Apologia Pro Myne Littel Boke
for KJ
I see you there / Midwestern Spanish teacher,
mon frere, my fellow lord & liege,
purveyor of gewgaw & guffaw,
teacher of fishes, caster of reels,
justifier of God’s ways to men,
curfew enforcer against whom teenage sons rage reckless,
civil liberties trodden under size eleven Chucks.
Dead authors
hate you, purple sweater-vested fancypants!
Hast thou maad swiche divers bokes only to buckle
under pressure of expanding waistlines?—O to be obese!
O to be an obese dragon in the holy land of central Illinois!
I see you there, over by the Bruegel prints,
rubbing your ass on the Vermeer,
sucking face with that fusty Paul Klee
(but you’re not gay! I know!
it’s okay! it’s art!)
Trotting along at medium gallop, you look like a man
my mama used to bang, but half as tall & twice as wide.
You fancy the past—history makes us all such freaky icons.
St. Kent of Fredonia, of Freeport & Highland, St. of My Left Shoe, my dumb show,
my free throw, my favorite Scott Baio facsimile,
take up these leaves and read—
On this piggy snout I swear I am a churl, a gnarl, a piston, a pustule, a boy named Carl…
tenderly you touch me as a father.
Hi, my name is Kent. I don't write poems. I write inside jokes. ::shrug:: I'm so controversial even my mustache makes people upset.
Kent
I'm a real left winger 'cause I've been down south and held peasants in my arms. I could tell you stories that could make you cry. What about you?
K-E-N-T spells . . .
I'm Kent Johnson, and I am an expert at guerilla marketing. I write poems with people's names in them so they'll buy my books.
I learned it from the Sandanistas!
The epigrammatist can only feel flattered!
:~ )
Kent
Also, it's Sandinistas, not Sandanistas. When were you chickies born, anyway? 1984?
:~ )
Kent
what's with the fucking sideways faces? Is Kent ~retarded~ as well as being a complete DOUCHEBAG?
vote for your favorite comment field douchebag at jimbehrle.com
xxxjimmt
I see you baby!!! Shakin' that ass! Shakin' that ass!
I am Imranu Gikwdfoi from the Planet Wdugiu! Throw me in a wire cage and take a crap on my moustache!
--Imranu Gikwdfoi
I don't know Kent and don't care. I want some original SDGPs, goddammit. You've certainly got enough inspiration for some utterly ridiculous haiku, one would think.
kent is kinda foxy, no?
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