I have a confession to make: Me and Laz. were fired-up and ready to go, but when it came time to post my brand spanking new best darmned super deluxe good poem ever written I drew a major blank. So instead I pulled that untitled Jack ofAll Thing from the archives. It was written in the mid 1980's. Here's the crappy poem I wrote this morning:

Crappy Poem
Crappy imagery.
Use of metaphor.
Nonsense.
Nonsense.
Nonsense related to the metaphor from line two to create inexplicable effect.
New image--less crappy, but still so.
Line using all the same letters as the nonsense in line four.
Television commercial.
String of letters that form no words, but are in the shape of pants.
Nonsense.
Sexy imagery.
First line of haiku about language, but somehow different from all my other haiku about language.
Second line of haiku about language, but somehow different from all my other haiku about language.
Third line of haiku about language, but somehow different from all my other haiku about language.
Line using all the same letters as were used in line fourteen.
Line using all the same letters as were used in previous line, but different from letters used in line fourteen.
Line using all the same letters as the were used in the fifth line of the nineteenth poem by Charles Simic, but only if the letters used were also able to (but didn't) spell out at least four prime numbers (in French), otherwise more sexy imagery.
Line counting backward from 100, using fruitcake recipes instead of numbers.
Nonsense.
Nonsense.
Line using three exclamation points.
Line the creates a feeling of dread in the reader, which employs no fewer than seven exclamation points!
Nonsense.
Line using butter instead of limestone.
Line that ties it all together.